erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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