if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
