I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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