"it" just moved
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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