is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
