lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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