she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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