Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
