DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
