Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
