things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
