I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
