We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
