please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
