exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
