And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
