I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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