Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
