Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He? As in you personified your dick?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
