i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
