party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
