the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
