how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
