This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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