Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
