Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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