his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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