ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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