you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
