i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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