You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
