If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
