mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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