Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
