i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I want is dick and wine.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
