So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
