Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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