I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
