She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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