You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
