He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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