they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
