Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
