The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
