Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it penis luge time yet?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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