They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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