yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
