I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Two words: nipple clamps
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