you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
