Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
